I have the strength. Then I have the strength to doubt my strength

This limbo that I currently resign in, is a fucker.  I have all the puzzle pieces to put the puzzle together again. There are all there in front of me and the pieces that are extra,  I'm trying not to have to use them.. Wait puzzles don't come with extra puzzle pieces? 

in any case. At one moment I have full strength to know the what and how so I can do..  

then in a single moment, I, and only I, ignore it the fear or maybe it's the momentary miss placement of my confidence, what ever i label it as, it puts me back forgetting the what and ho unabling me to get that "do " part that needs to be done, sooner then laterz (auto correct out that z lol my Siri is street)

this will pass.. These restless nights of wanting to take over the world, and then get lost again in the action of "painting the town red" (as you kids call it) then wanting to jump back into my pattern because I miss it, the entireity of it.. The him. 

But remember he doesn't want me. Not like i wanted him. The questions I have will never an answer and the truth will never be mine to bask in once it all comes out...  

Either way, I know it's not him. I believe 'the him' is not him. 



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